The Thought Conceived by Today
This was my second day since winter walking out by the river on my break, and I can't seem to get enough. I told my boss I was losing my will to live, and was there anything I could do for work outside? I've been very blue in the office this past week. I used to work for a magazine, I said, and I could go outside and write and work on articles in the sun. He couldn't think of anything I could do outside, so he said I could take an extra break.
I miss school. I used to have the power to skip class and lie in the sun, but now I feel subject to Big Brother. I don't know how much I like working full time—can't I tend a garden or talk to people all day? Did I choose the wrong career field? Is this even my career? What is a career anyway? Can I just be a professional me?
Sam and I watched all three High School Musicals in the last three days, and . . . I loved them. But, the effect they had on me was unexpected—I just cried myself to sleep last night because I don't want to grow up!
I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up I don't want to grow up!
I want to be young and have fun forever! I don't want to work. I want summer vacation! Maybe I'm just spoiled. I think I have growing pains, and the winter blues. I felt like I was melting outside.
So this is the thought conceived by today: Do people thaw like the earth does?
When a person goes through a winter or a season where their soul either dies or hibernates, does the ice melt down to the bare surface and the grass grow again? Or are we just the ice, melting down to nothing and building up again? Or are we the grass, drying up, taking root, and growing again? Or are we the earth—unchanging bedrock that ages and slowly presses from silt to sandstone and from sand to glass?
Or are we everything?
5 comments:
That picture on your sidebar is totally cute. Maybe you should have a kid. Then you could play with him/her outside all day long and when he/she grows up, you could have another one.
I think I'm the grass.
I don't want to grow up either. Andy and I just read "The Little Prince" (amongst our series of children's books) and now we don't want to be grown-ups, concerned with figures and "matters of consequence."
All I want to do these days is play in the playground and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
oh my goodness Liz, did I tell you about my Peter Pan dream? I told my roommate and she wrote a bit about it on her blog. It seems this is something people in our stage of life all must battle with :). I've been holding out pretty well, but every time I do something like taxes or put air in my air or recycle (which I do voraciously, you'd be proud), I feel the end is near...
I mean air in my tires. haha.
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