The Ideal Home

About 100 yards down the river from settlement No. 1 is a TOTALLY conspicuous neighboring camp. I'm pretty sure they moved in as winter phased out because I'm pretty sure I would have noticed before. And speaking of men (not homeless men, I guess—those are some pretty sturdy-looking tarp structures) living on the river, I'm thinking, what will my ideal settlement be?

What do I want? What do you want?

Here's what I want:

Just kidding. Sam will have a heart attack. This is actually Castle Howard in North Yorkshire, England—it is beautiful. When I went there, I ran through the woods and frolicked through the fields, and it was divine. But . . . that's a little too high maintenance. Give me a field without the castle, and I'll be very happy.

However, I know Sam and I won't be in our apartment forever, so . . . I'm taking a few minutes to ponder on the specs of my ideal living space. For me, it would include at least the following:

• Peace and happiness

• A large, clean bathtub with a functional drain

• Our awesome Cal King bed . . . but with the headboard we want to build and carve ourselves.

• At least 3 stairs (single stairs—not staircases, necessarily); these could be on the front porch.

• Painted walls . . . in various colors

• Large windows with flowy, white, sheer curtains, especially on the east and west fronts

• The baby grand (I'm inheriting my mom's piano that no one plays . . . when there's a home to put it in.)

• Soft, bare-foot-friendly carpet

• A pretty area rug

• Trees, flowers, and a large garden—especially for tomatoes

• Maybe a dog and a cat. Maybe even a pug. (This is a new development—liking dogs. It may have something to do with an improved perspective on the world, including the notion that proactive happiness is allowed. Or it could be that Sam's parents' new pug puppy is really, really cute and fun and awesome. Dogs are actively happy and naturally entertaining. You've got to give them credit. Cats are passive, sleepy, and sometimes depressed. For me, I think both would suit my variant moods.)

• A woodshop and art studio: a place to paint, make garden gnomes, and work on antique furniture

• Tunnels, lofts, large cushions, murals, ladders, and maybe a little pool with fish for the only the most adventurous kingdom for the children

• A library

• Original art

• A healthy rose or dalia bush

• Many, many guests and friends continually flowing in and out

Variable factors which I don't really care about right now, or simply don't know:

• The size or age of this home

• The exact location of this home

• The number of people who will live in this home

• The weather

So . . . what does contribute to the ideal home?